THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Let's get the cat blown out
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
