I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
