How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Randomize
