8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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