I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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