Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
