i permit you to call me
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
