I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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