look no pants
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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