YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
