Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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