this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
