Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
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My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
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30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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