I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
