'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
