I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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