Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
