what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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