I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
