She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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