Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
