I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
