Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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