this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
