she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
