I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
handjob tips. give me some.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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