'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
