Yo dont text me then not text me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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