I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
