I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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