The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
