So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
