I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
