have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
