So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Are we still banned from the library?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
