you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
