people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
