she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
