I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
