Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
