How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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