I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
