I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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