Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
