you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
