Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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