he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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