I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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