I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
