I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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