what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
