U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
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