Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
