It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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