I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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