i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
