C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
