Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
