I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
And then he peed in my hair
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
