I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
