pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
