you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
