He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
