apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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