So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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