dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
