You just made me feel so damn special
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
