Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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