on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize